


A Day Of First Snow Falls

by minkimchi



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, 二哈和他的白猫师尊 - 肉包不吃肉 | The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat
Genre: How Do I Tag, M/M, MXTX, Mo Dao Zu Shi - Freeform, Past life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:28:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28809627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minkimchi/pseuds/minkimchi
Summary: The snow was slowly falling, Xue Yang sat beside Xingchen. He looked at that beautiful, abyss like eyes and confessed,“Xingchen... I love you.”
Relationships: Xiǎo Xīngchén/Xuē Yáng
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	A Day Of First Snow Falls

**Author's Note:**

> There will be no Yin City arc !! Later I’ll use Xie Yang name instead of that person, pls remember XXC doesn’t know it’s Xue Yang. Thank you !!
> 
> • not sure but might have five chapters

Xiao Xingchen is famous in both the upper and lower cultivation world. He is known for his generosity, kindness but mostly, his righteousness. However, there is something most people don’t know. It is that he has his past life memories. 

In his last life, he was a man who was cruel, merciless, and an ungrateful brat. He killed many people, not directly but is actually the one that started it all. He holds a puppet string of a man names Mo Ran, who was one of the closest brothers yet he turned him into a puppet for his revenge, and desire. He used his beloved Shizun who taught him how to write, and how to cultivate. He made his Shizun suffered both lifetimes just for his selfish dream. He was Shi Mei or Hua Binan and because of that, Xiao Xingchen was drowned in a word called guilt.

Furthermore, the grievance of the people he killed followed him to this life. A curse was placed upon him by those.  


———- “For every reincarnation, ha has, he will forever repay the lives he took from our beloved.”  


Hence, for Xiao Xingchen, every day was a living hell. He didn’t want to close his eyes because if he did, he would be watching a replay of what his last life self did all over again. He is a human too so when those came flashing back inside his mind, he wanted to run away and hide. He wanted to get away from this pain, he wanted to hide away from his awful reality of his yet… he would see himself being this man named Hua Binan again and again. 

So, when he noticed a young man named Xue Yang being as cruel he was, as merciless as he was, and being ungrateful life as much as he was— he felt as if seeing his past self. So when his friend said that he found Xue Yang’s behavior unlikely, Xiao Xingchen quickly ended the conversation by replying,

“ he must have his own reason, Song Lan. Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

However, his words quickly come back to bite him when he found out that this Young man massacred the Yueyang Cheng Clan. He chooses to go after this Young man and capture him.  


He brings him back to the disciple conference to demand justice for the Yueyang Cheng Clan, and the process went on. Just before he left, Xue Yang asked for him. He looked at Xue Yang’s playful eyes and asked, 

“what?”

Xue Yang laughed. His playful eyes which were filled with amusement light up while a smile filled with hatred appeared. His voice which was like a child and cheerful asked,

“Daozhang, you wouldn’t forget me, would you?”

Xiao Xingxhen has no change in his emotion. He just continues to stare at this Xue Yang with his emotionless and abyss like eyes. Then he heard a burst of loud laughter from a guy in front of him. A small mumble which followed afterward,

“Let’s wait and see.”

Xiao Xingchen didn’t know if Xue Yang said it on impulse, or not but he did know one thing, and that is, from the first time he met Xue Yang to this, he has never forgotten him. Xue Yang made him see his past self— the one that he despises so much, the one that he wanted to be gone, his regrets and his guilt. So, from the first time to this moment, the name called Xue Yang, the face of Xue Yang, the body of Xue Yang, and the shadow of his was tattoo in his heart. Xue Yang didn’t need to say it, nor proved it, he was already part of Xingchen’s soul.... somehow.

However, Xue Yang did go all the way and proved it to Xiao Xingchen he can’t forget him. Xue Yang blinded his friend, and for that, Xiao Xingchen must pay the price.

In his past life as Shi Mei, he has lived as a blind person. He knew how to not have eyes, and how to live through it. However, for Song Lan, a person who has never been blind, it might be difficult. So, Xingchen decided. He broke the vow he made, returned to his Baoshan Sanren’s resident, and beg her to help heal his friend’s eyes. Even to the point of selflessly giving his eyes. Hence, he became blind once again.

However, Xingchen was glad. To him, Song Lan was like Mo Ran. A close brother. He has destroyed his close brother in his last life but this time, he saved him. He gave his eyes, and this fact made him satisfied. It made him feel some kind of redemption towards Mo Ran— even if he knew that this was just a small redemption.

Thus, losing his eyes becomes something he is proud of. He has no complaints or grievance against it. He felt relief. Hence, a dark world enters his small little world again yet that dark world gave him a little source of light.

One day when he was walking down the road, he heard a groaning noise and with his sharp senses, he smells blood from that groaning person. He rushes to that person, with a low voice, he asked,

" where is the wound?"

The person didn’t respond. Instead, he felt his hand grabbed with a little strength. He tried to take his hand back but that person didn’t let go. As soon he took his out of that person’s hand embrace, he felt his hand being pulled back with a small strength. In the end, he sighed as he let that person hold his hand. 

Thinking that person is badly wounded, he carried him to a little cottage he’s living at and treated his wounds. 

Xue Yang woke up a little while after. He looked around. He saw a clean place, and a person he despite the most. He saw Xiao Xingchen sitting near this bed and their hands intertwined. His hand holding Xingchen’s hand. His face immediately shows disgust as soon as he saw his hand and Xingchen’s hand which were intertwined.

However, Xue Yang didn’t pull it back. It’s warm and this is the first time someone holds his hands which were splashed with the blood of many people. It kinda feels nice.... and warm. So, even if his face shows disgust, he holds his hand a little tighter. Squeezing his hand from time to time. 

A night passed by just like that. One person sleeping while getting his hand hole by another while that person holding the hand would squeeze the hand from time to time, trying to get warmth out of it.

It was a peaceful night, indeed. 

When Xingchen woke up from his sleep, he felt his hand being tighter by another person. However, what surprised him more is that, tonight that nightmares that have been haunting him since he was young didn't appear. He didn’t do it because of the warmth of the person before him or because he felt the warm hand squeezing him from time to time that pulled him out of the nightmare. Whatever it is or it was, this was what he found really surprising.

“Good Morning,” a low hoarse voice came from a person. His ears perked up. He pulled his hand back and stood up. 

“How is your wound?” he asked. 

“better,” the person replied, coldly. As if that person didn’t just snatch back the hand that was pulled away from his. As if he isn’t holding his hand right now.

“I’m going to go get you food. Can you let go of my hand?” Xingchen asked. The person did let go, and Xingchen sighed in relief. However, five minutes didn’t pass before his hand was engulfed with another hand again. 

“I’ll go with you,” he heard that man said. 

“But you’re wounded. It’s better if you stay here. I’ll come back to you later with food.”

“No. I’ll come with you. It’s okay, my wounds are not that heavy.”

Xingchen sighted.

“Rest,” he ordered. 

After that, he struggled his hand out of that person's hand, and then run as quickly as he can to the outside. Locked the door of the cottage, and went to the market.

It was afternoon when they woke up so the market was already crowded. He bought what he needed, then made his way back to the cottage, making food for the wounded person at his cottage. 

He brought back the food, let that person eat, clean his wound and prepare for the Nigh Hunt.

Xue Yang look at the busy Xingchen who was busy preparing for the night hunt.

“I heard there are fierce corpses in Yi City at night.”

Xingchen looked back at Xue Yang. He didn’t speak, he just nodded.

“Are you going there?”

Xingchen nodded once again. Xue Yang looked at Xingchen, the desire for revenge once again surface.

“Can I come?” He asked.

“You are still wounded.”

After a moment of silence, he continued, “wait about a week, then you come with me.”

Xue Yang rest for a week under that command. Everyday Xie Yang experiences something he didn’t expect.

For example, Yesterday, he saw Xingchen sleeping on a chair. Even if he did despite him, he couldn’t just let a person who saved him from death sleep on a chair, so he asked,

“Do you want to sleep with me on the bed?”

The answer was no. He expected it. However, at night, that person came near him, and said,

“Right side or Left side?”

“Right.”

Then he told Xue Yang to move to the right side. He put a pillow between them, saying,

“Don’t cross the line.”

Xue Yang just laughed lowly. Suppressing his laughter he answered, “okay.”

Then both of them sleep on the (kinda) wide bed. Xue Yang on the right side, a pillow in the middle, and Xingchen on the left side.

However, since he started sleeping with Xingchen, another surprise came for him. In the middle of a night, he would hear this famous master, Xingchen sobbing, crying, and apologizing over and over. He doesn’t know why he felt a tug in his heart but when he heard a low sob from that person he would wake up and wants to hug that person. 

One night, he was woken up from his sleep. He heard a low sob from that person who was sleeping on the other side of the bed. He saw him curled up like shrimp, tears were wetting the pillow while hands were clenched tightly— digging inside his palm, and leaving fingers mark.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry... I know I’m a sinner... Shizun forgive me please... moran... I know I was wrong... please... I’m sorry...” he kept on mumbling it over and over again. Sobs were coming out of his mouth, tears were flowing down his cheeks to his pillow while his whole body was shaking. 

Xue Yang looked at this sight. He doesn’t know why but his heart hurts. His heart felt as if it’s been pressured into pieces, as it’s it got crushed. His heart felt heavy, and cursed.

This man who just called himself a sinner was that same man who took care of him. Wash his wounds, treat his wounds gently, gave him food, and maybe hold hands sometimes. This man was the one who picked up a dying man in a bush, and gave him life again.

Xue Yang couldn’t believe the fact that Xiao Xingchen called himself a sinner. He just couldn’t. However, his hand moved, took the pillow which was acting a border away, and move closer to Xingchen.

He throat move up and down, never sweat break out but that didn’t stop him from taking the man into his embrace. Putting Xingchen’s head on his chest while he pats his back softly. He felt Xingchen calming down. When he was sure that Xingchen was no longer sobbing or shaking, he was about to let the man go out of his embrace but Xingchen holds him this time.

Xingchen took his head, put it on his chest while hugging him tightly. He heard a low mumble,

“sleep.”

**Author's Note:**

> Five chapters me think🏃♀️ I’ll probably upload tomorrow too haha


End file.
